Therapies

My upper left leg feels like a big hunk of fresh mozzarella. While I would normally be happy about having so much cheese in my possession, it is not such a happy state of affairs. After just one month of hardly using my left leg, my leg has atrophied before my very eyes, without me even noticing it until yesterday, when the PT poked and prodded me, pointing it out. So begins my road to strength and full motion, before I'm smacked down again, strung with a graft and immobile for another few weeks, inactive for a few months.
My first session of PT was more strenous than I thought and I felt self-conscious about being watched for so long. It ended with electrotherapy, similar to the acupuncture, but without needles, and hence quite relaxing. But I'm not looking forward to continuing -- with two sessions per week, this is going to be very time-consuming and expensive! :(

Walking on sunshine

A huge weight lifted from me: Orthopedist said it was OK to put weight on my leg and that I should fully bend/straighten my knee when walking. So I did a whole bunch of walking (and spending) today (not the best weather for walking, but I'll take it). All those weeks of pent up walking and being chained to three positions (sitting, limping, leaning on one leg) vanished as I ran half a bazillion errands. I better enjoy this freedom while it lasts, since I'll soon be on crutches for a while. Instead of the usual graft from a cadaver, I am hoping I get a bionic knee.

Sidenote #1: Going to the orthopedist reminded me a lot of going to the dentist. I started off with multiple x-rays that the technician made with this thing that he swung around to get various views of my leg. I wonder if the surgery will be just like getting my wisdom teeth removed (a process I kinda enjoyed).

Sidenote #2: I can walk without a cane but still pretty slow. It's frustrating to see people speed up after getting around me and I'm even more embarassed that they don't understand that I have a real reason for being slow (I don't like lollygaggers either!). I liked how the cane at least made people feel guilty about not offering me a seat on the subway (even if they still didn't ultimately give me a seat). Now I can't even illicit that guilt out of them. :T

Woe is me

My life has not been the same since last Wednesday. I called about my MRI results and I've been depressed ever since. Like the jock that I am (ha ha), I tore my ACL (that's the anterior cruciate ligament, to you non-jock types). The report said the ligament is completely torn and the general doc said that I will need surgery. Now I just need to find someone who can fix me up like new. (The orthopedic surgeon the general doc recommended moved, wasting my entire summer Friday.) It's such a slow process....

I am so tired of hobbling around with a cane. Using the cane so much has put strain on my wrists, ankles, and other knee. I hate not being able to get from place to place, running errands, doing household work without either help from others or pain. I see people running around, jumping, bending down, rushing down stairs and I long to do the same. I feel like everyone is whizzing by me while my life is at a standstill (or a slow limp, at best). When I struggle down the infinite subway stairs, I think about sliding down the banister as I did in elementary school before I realize that I would have no way of stopping myself at the bottom other than crashing onto the dirty platform floor. *sigh* It particularly sucks that there are many opportunities to do lots of activities (biking, swimming, walking) now that it is summer.

But one little positive with my slowing down, is how I notice/appreciate things a little more. Some observations:
- I'm able to hone my sarcasm with the stories I tell of how I get hurt. Only one person believed I am crippled because of my wrestling with Dear. Now what else I can make up?
- I've only had one person (a youngish, married male) give up a seat for me on the subway. He got off two stops after, so it wasn't a big deal for him but at least he got up, unlike the myriad others who've taken no notice of my injury. But I guess it's also fair to add in that most of the time I have a seat anyway because I take the local train close to the last stop.

Just like a day at the spa

Except there's harsh flourescent lighting and it's unbearably cold. And instead of a plush robe you get a flimsy gown that doesn't close right, leaving you exposed to the cold, sanitized surroundings.Oh and you're stuffed into this giant plastic tube that makes weird hammering and vibrating noises instead of some soft music playing in the background. (I still managed to drift to sleep though.) Such was my experience getting an MRI today. At least there was no pain involved (I just had to stay very still and at times I thought I felt weird static sensations across my leg and as if my blood was pulsating down my leg). I get results in three days....

Hello furniture!

This July 4th holiday was such a ruse -- barely enough time to relax before it was time to go back to work again. :( But it was a well-needed break. Dear and some friends finally moved some old furniture into our apartment and it is a marked difference to live with furniture versus without (even if that furniture is not the prettiest thing out there). I thought it would be a huge thing to finally get a dresser, to not have to live out of a suitcase and some shopping bags, but I don't notice much difference, just that my clothes are in a different place higher above the ground. (Maybe I just need to get more clothes? I feel like I wear the same things over and over again and now I know it's probably not because I can't find things.)

The big difference is in the living room. We got a hand-me-down table and chairs from Dear's aunt and I had remembered it to be quite ugly but for some reason or another Dear was guilted into taking the set. It's not as ugly as I recall (though we won't be winning any interior design awards with it either) but it will do until I find the table I want that is right for the space. The surprising thing though, is that after some organizing, I feel really comfortable sitting at the table. (Maybe that's why dining chairs are built a certain height to fit a table, unlike slouchy camping chairs paired with a folding conference table.)

We also switched the position of the sofa and it opens up the space so that it's actually welcoming. When I walked into the living room this morning, and again after coming home, I felt happy being there, enjoying the space, instead of wanting to block out my surroundings by turning on the TV.

how the living room is currently arranged

We left a pathway for the movers to deliver the credenza we ordered but I kinda like the wide open space so I would want to leave like this afterwards too but it's so crowded by the dining table.

possibility A

Once the movers are done, I was thinking of moving the recliner over to the other side but I'm not sure whether or not that will make the space feel closed again.

possiblity B

The recliner is quite bothersome (even though it is pretty comfortable)!

More accu-torture

Sunday was the worst treatment yet: the vibrations were very strong and instead of the soothing numbness at the end, there were spastic intervals of irregular vibrating current, as if there were power surges going through the building every so often. :_( The acunpuncturist also mentioned that while my tendon is healing (I certainly feel that too), he is not certain what's going on with my knee (which feels as stiff as before) and if I'm not better by the next appointment, I may have to get an MRI. All this time I thought Chinese medicine was a safe alternative (I hate taking drugs, etc.) but in the end even centuries-old therapy has to rely on Western technology. What did they do before the MRI?