My life has not been the same since last Wednesday. I called about my MRI results and I've been depressed ever since. Like the jock that I am (ha ha), I tore my ACL (that's the anterior cruciate ligament, to you non-jock types). The report said the ligament is completely torn and the general doc said that I will need surgery. Now I just need to find someone who can fix me up like new. (The orthopedic surgeon the general doc recommended moved, wasting my entire summer Friday.) It's such a slow process....
I am so tired of hobbling around with a cane. Using the cane so much has put strain on my wrists, ankles, and other knee. I hate not being able to get from place to place, running errands, doing household work without either help from others or pain. I see people running around, jumping, bending down, rushing down stairs and I long to do the same. I feel like everyone is whizzing by me while my life is at a standstill (or a slow limp, at best). When I struggle down the infinite subway stairs, I think about sliding down the banister as I did in elementary school before I realize that I would have no way of stopping myself at the bottom other than crashing onto the dirty platform floor. *sigh* It particularly sucks that there are many opportunities to do lots of activities (biking, swimming, walking) now that it is summer.
But one little positive with my slowing down, is how I notice/appreciate things a little more. Some observations:
- I'm able to hone my sarcasm with the stories I tell of how I get hurt. Only one person believed I am crippled because of my wrestling with Dear. Now what else I can make up?
- I've only had one person (a youngish, married male) give up a seat for me on the subway. He got off two stops after, so it wasn't a big deal for him but at least he got up, unlike the myriad others who've taken no notice of my injury. But I guess it's also fair to add in that most of the time I have a seat anyway because I take the local train close to the last stop.
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